As you all know, this Sunday was the first day of the Chinese New Year, the Year of the Pig. So the usual suspects (Jill, Jessy, Kaitlyn, Tracy, Sha, Adam, Dmitri, Gareth, Ioannis, Paulo, Simon & moi) gathered at Jill’s luxurious and well-appointed (two microwaves, three fridges) penthouse flat to celebrate. Some of us cooked, some brought booze, and some sponsored dessert.

My imaginative and amazingly spiced chicken chilli went head-to-head against Simon’s more conventional, staid, traditional, boring beef chilli. Let’s just say that there were no losers. And let’s also remind Simon that no-one remembers the second guy on the moon.

Ioannis made a ham n shroom bake, Tracy brought prawns and special sauce, Jessy had a beef dish, Jill made dumplings and sticky sweet, and Sha brought a wonderful cake. We even had fortune cookies!

It was nice to have an good old ISOM bash and as usual it was a rip-roaring success. Reflecting upon which, I realise that a full SIX of yesterday’s revellers were outsiders, successful infiltrators of our close-knit community. What is the world coming to??

Happy new year guys and gals!

Well, it’s been a busy weekend. Went to see Casino Royale with Sha and her flatmate Yen Ru on Friday. The queues at Parrs Wood Cinema were long, so we missed the 19:30 show but managed to get in the 20:15 one. Sitting right at the front in the third row. It felt like I was staring close-range at a collage of objects rather than watching a harmonious scene. And when the camera went close things got really uncomfortable, especially when I had to sit staring at James Bond’s nipple for five minutes. The movie was a well-considered and well-executed break from the Bond tradition, presumably because of the competition from the more realistic and lifelike spy thrillers like the Bourne movies (and The XXX according to Ioannis).

Jessy’s birthday was celebrated on Sunday at Ioannis’, and we even managed to see Jessy for a bit before she was off to help her sister with homework. The festive cheer was all around, and we had a cozy time. (Menu: Thai or Malaysian Green Curry, rice, Not-Lamb-But-M&S-Finest-Lamb Roast, Not-Potatoes-But-M&S-Finest-Maris-Piper-Potatoes, Razzberry cheesecake, Apple Pie, and drinks)

Muscles still aching from Friday night’s footie, compounded by Saturday afternoon’s badminton. Where, surprise surprise! Johnny and Gracie showed up.  

My google homepage has automatically updated quotes from Dubyah Bush. The feature is called “Chimp-o-Matic”

I am really getting fed up with personal communications being transacted by our party group via e-mails. As if I have nothing better to do than read everybody’s personal comments on who’s going to do what with whom and how, and why and wherefore.

From now on, party discussions should be had via our beautiful and still-operational ISOM website, so all of us can view the comments in one go instead of opening e-mail after e-mail.

But since Christmas discussions have already been started, you can continue them here on my blog!!

Doesn’t this make it much simpler??

later: Actually, I immediately realised that there exist so-called “lurkers” who read our blogs without alerting us of their presence (except in some cases where I recognise the I.P addresses) so the solution might be to set up and use a “Partay Blog” with passwords given to cool people only. Additional passwords can be used for individual blogs as well, so that a certain special-on-the-day person doesn’t find out what plans are being made behind his/her back. Unless that person is Ioannis “I.T Helpdesk” Verdelis who will presumably have administrator access to the site!

I was also thinking of secret handshakes for the group, but I’ve got so many now that I get kind of muddled! (It was really embarrassing at the Nun Convention the other day. All I’ll say is that Sister Magdalene had never been shaken like that before!)

And since the original ISOM group has grown and included (some may say “engulfed”) members of other disciplines and walks of life, perhaps we need a renaming of this enterprise? Suggestions will be accepted and vetoed by ME since it’s my idea!! And The Winning Prize will be given to ME as well regardless of the winning entry!! 

My sis has started working as a publicist for a software start-up company called Atlantis based in Bangalore. A typically grandiose name for such things, however I haven’t put a link because I couldn’t find it on the net, which is unusual.

She says “Its my first geek company job. Besides, Im the sixth person to join… so its good fun. I get to hire and fire people too! Great work environment. All the guys have long hair, and ride Bullets! (Editor’s note:- a kind of heavy motorbike, properly called a Royal Enfield Bullet) Muahahahaha! And they’re all weird, which is good. ”

She also says “I was looking through your blog and laughing and my CEO came and sat down and read almost all your posts. He LOVES your blog! He thinks you’re the funniest guy ever! He thinks you’re really cool! Hah! Who’se brother is he after all, me says! Shush! Im busy beaming with pride! ”

 She really uses a lot of smileys!

My shower drain had been blocked for a while, so over the weekend I Cillit-Banged the Bejeezus out of it. As I was luxuriating (again, not a euphemism) myself today, I realised I was missing something. It took me a while to realise that it was the feeling of scummy water lapping around my feet! Man it felt strange, like my ankles had been abandoned after a long, vaguely comforting relationship.

Radio 2 this morning played a song by somebody called something. But it had a line that went “I can dream about you”, which sounded like the guy had actually been denied permission to touch her, or even approach within 600 yards (a pretty standard ruling, I can tell you). Which makes you think; sometimes a thing can be pervy, and sometimes it is endearing and romantic. Let me give you chowderheads an example to make it clearer. In the movie Striptease (a fantastic storyline, by the way) this senator bloke sends his underling to fetch some lint from the laundromat that Demi Moore had just used for her washing so he can sniff it. And where I was going “Awww shoo shweeet”, apparently that was pervy! Confusing, innit?

History has been made, by the way. What we (I) keep reading about in science fiction books has finally come to be. No, intergalactic spaceships are not being built in lunar orbit, at least not that I’m aware of. But an accused barman made a court appearance by vidlink. Of course, in the books it used to be called something like GlobVid or CommLink or something equally obvious. And it hasn’t made much news because we’re so used to this kind of stuff.

Coldplay’s new song tells us we should never fight our ceilings. I’m sure it’s all well meaning and such, but I really don’t think squabbles with one’s dorsal wall is as much of a social problem as they make it out to be. Atleast not big enough to warrant a song of its own. Maybe a token mention somewhere in a paragraph of a song about social ills in general, but not an entire song. I guess all the real fights like drugs and alcohol have been done to death, so they were looking for something new. And don’t get me wrong; I’m all for exploring new frontiers in songwriting/music and suchlike. It’s just that I can’t honestly remember the last time I felt so cross with my ceiling that it warranted a verbal caution. From Coldplay.

P.S. Apparently it’s your feelings you shouldn’t be fighting. Well Yoo-Hoo for originality Mr Coldplay. It just so happens that at this moment I feel like downloading music for free, thereby cutting into your earnings. Do you still stand by your song??

Yes, sorrying for keeping you waiting so long, but the results of my driving theory test are now available to you. Yesterday, I was at the DSA test centre near Picadilly station for about half an hour. In that time I managed to get 35/35 on my questions, and 63/75 on my hazard perception (I deliberately didn’t wanna be too good). I thought twice about posting my score, because I didn’t want to seem like a poser, but what the heck, I am that good!!

Jill, Ioannis, Shasha and I saw “Two for the money” on Sat. SOMEBODY mistook it for “The inside man”, which I was looking forward to. I knew there was a bank robbery involved, so imagine my disappointment when nothing of the sort happened!! I was trying to link the stupid plot to a desperate need for cash, thinking “Okay, so now he goes robs a bank”. Finally, the movie ended.

But highlight of the week had to be the bizarro goings on at Tracy’s Willy’s party. Tracy greeted me with an amorous (=drunk) hug at half-seven, and I knew things were fragile. These guys were so drunk, I’m amazed no untoward incidents flared up (if you discount of course Willy chucking a water balloon at 2 girls in the bus-stop opposite, and the Turkish guy crashing onto the floor, and Blake forcing his way into a poor terrified girls car to kiss her, oh!, and two strangers off the street talking to us and then blazenly trying to break into the downstairs’ neighbours’ flat, claiming they thought it was “The Rampant Lion” pub. What, and you enter that pub through the window??? ) The flat-mates (Blake, Tom, Kev & Willy) had the kitchen table taken outside and were playing beer-pong from 4pm. Basically, two people fill themselves six plastic cups with beer and arrange them in a triangle in front of them at opposite sides of the table lengthwise. Then they take turns chucking a pingpong ball at the other person’s beer. If it falls in, the other person drinks that. Simple yet so unelegant. Marissa played with glasses of G&T, and was not seen for most of the evening. There were empty cans and splashed beer all over the place, mixing with the effluent of people not bothering to go to the bathroom to pee. Adam was there in his role as friendly neighbour, watching these antics with eyebrows constantly raised. I turned up with some Chicken couscous and a litre of whiskey, one of which was sooo delicious we promptly set to work upon it. The couscous we saved for later The Turkish guy (“I’m from Cyprus”) tried to prove his manhood by downing half a plastic cup of whiskey (pocket change, dahling!) and promptly felt the kick. He was staggering all over the place. Even when he fell on his backside he was still walking, dragging himself around!! Then Jessy & Ioannis turned up with beer, and we promptly steered them into the living room, away from the mayhem. Tom was so stoned (even more so then usual) and I myself was barely keeping it together, so I was grateful that Miss X turned up after she finished work, so I had to limit my extravagances and act gentlemanly. There were no major hangovers the next day, thanks to that timely intervention. Oh, at some point I had to drag Willy off a neighbour’s car, where he “wanted to sleep”.
P.S things are coming back to me now.
1. Oh, almost forgot to say, someone copped off with someone in half-an-hour flat after introduction!
2. There was a large group of chicas who came in at some point (Marissa’s friends) but seeing nobody good looking, left. I, of course, was evidently already snapped up by some lucky person.

What a weirdo-mondo dream I had last night/this morning! I was tossing and turning all night, and so went to the hall to crash on the couch with a book. When I finally nodded off, I had a dream where I had just landed in Manchester in an unfamiliar airport, and was waiting for Ioannis and Tracy to come along and pick me up, but then both of them spoke to me on the phone pretending not to have understood. To make matters worse, they said they were in the Footage expecting to meet me there. And to top it all off, I heard Johnny’s voice in the background laughing and having a good time. So I starting running with my bag, because I realised that the airport was in fact just around the corner from the Footage. But I was mistaken, so I turned back and saw this red Lada with a taxi sign, so I ran towards it. It already had an elderly couple in the back, but they waved me in to share the cab. I said I was going as far as Oxford Road and got in next to this unshaven East European taxi driver, who promptly began hurling his Lada around corners. The couple had also obviously got off a plane, so I asked them about it, and we started comparing notes on Prague. Then I look up and we were in Vienna! And I started worrying whther I had enough money to pay the taxi fare from Vienna to The Footage. I believe I said something like “He’s going the long way round” to the couple. Then the couple jumped into a boat in a fountain, and it’s all downhill from there. Oh, I think it might be of importance that I had watched ‘The Bourne Supremacy’ in bed. Cracking movie!!

I’ve been having a hectic life recently, what with all the legwork I’m having to do in order to find a job. Yesterday I had to go to the Post Office to buy A4 envelopes in which to place my CVs and cover letters. I also printed out my CVs on the same day! Talk about efficient management of one’s scarce resources. Ah, but then you don’t know me, my friends. Behind this calm, placid, almost bovine exterior is concealed the sharpness of wit and speed of action that a panda may well be proud of.

After gallivanting around town with Ms X, we had to rush home to cook the 5 fillets of chicken I had lounging in my fridge. (These fillets I had prepared from chicken I personally slaughtered, although catching them wasn’t half as hard as I thought it might be. The poor dears were definitely under the weather, maybe it was the flu.) WHAT? Did you really expect me to talk about chicken and NOT mention the flu??. That was made just in time for us to sneak a cheeky little dindin with Mom at Rusholme (where else?) and return home not wanting to go to Tracy’s Willy anymore. So all the Creamy Peppercorn Chicken con Asian Influenza A (H5N1) is still languishing in my fridge, although I did manage to make a considerable dent in it at around four in t’ morning.

..but as some of my closer (better, nicer, etc.) friends will know, I have been quite busy in recent times. Or shall I say, I have been, ahem, kept busy. But let me talk about more mundane things. My driving lessons with me mate Ben are going well; he’s a remarkably good instructor, drawing a fine line between having a laugh and getting a lesson drilled in. Or is it I that is (am? are?be?) the remarkably good pupil?? In fact, the only complaints I get are “Heh heh, we were going a bit fast there, weren’t we??” and “Heh heh, you weren’t checking your mirrors there, were you?” and “Heh heh, you really didn’t see that little child you knocked over, did you?”
Only Kidding!!! Of course I checked my mirrors!

I’ll now take a purfunctory look at your blogs and leave some random remark to lead you guys into believing that I actually read the stuff you moan on about, thereby awakening your guilt feelings and forcing you to visit MY blog!!

AAAHHH! Refreshingly Honest! tm

“Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings,
These are a few of my favorite things. ”

Some I have deliberately not finished as they require more thought than is possible with Rammstein going beserkomaniacal in your brainholes.

Four Jobs You’ve Had In Your Life

You must be kidding. There was a time when I was a Bar Manager (pub tart) for a pub in Fallowfield, Manchester. Oh, and a brief and forgettable spell as a web designer for a stationery (that means paper and stuff, not ‘unmoving’) company that had no clue what it wanted. Ohh, I shudder!!

Four Movies You Could Watch Over And Over

Difficult. This is, of course, a ephemeral list.

The Last Supper, definitely.
The Life of Brian, absolutely.

Four Places You’ve Lived

I’ve lived (proper lived, like going to school and whatnot) in

Kuwait City, Kuwait.
Bangalore, India.
Moscow, Russia.
Manchester, UK.

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch

I love The Office! And Peep Show. And I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say that I can (and do) quote just about every line from Friends, as some people already know. And the fourth??? FUTURAMA!! (my needs are simple: make me laugh)

Four Places You’ve Been On Vacation

Oh, difficult!

I lurve Amsterdam, Prague is wonderful, Venice is romantic (in a stinky sort of way in summer) and I guess Luxor is the fourth mystical one. But Munich!! Oh how can I forget Munich!!! And the beautiful island of Rugen. And I absolutely loved Vienna at night. And….

Four Blogs You Visit Daily

Well, almost daily

Ioannis V,Cherryfairy,Boudica and Turboslut

Four Of Your Favourite Foods

A strong predeliction towards spicy foods, I notice now

Chicken Tikka Karahi a la Sangam Restaurant in Rusholme
Chicken Pasta Alfredo a la Wetherspoon’s
Masala Dosa a la Punjab Restaurant in Rusholme
Green Thai Curry a la Ioannis and Naz

Four Places You’d Rather Be

I see this as not necessarily a geographical place question, so

In a place of inner contentment
In the space of someone dear
In a time with less strife
and in the Caribbean!!!! YAY!

Four Albums You Can’t Live Without

I could list four of the most seminal pieces of work, but four (only four???) albums I can’t live without are different.

Mystery White Boy – Jeff Buckley (live)
Just one night – Eric Clapton (live at the Budokan, Japan)
Exit stage left – Rush (live)

Four Vehicles You’ve Owned

Since the family I lived with in India were car dealers (importers and exporters, not pushing dope from a mobile base), I got to drive a number of exotic cars from the age of about 15. My first proper drive was in an old 1970′s Left-hand drive Mercedes 220 diesel, a right beaut she was and all in green. My first car was an Indian copy of a Suzuki Alto hatchback, with a whopping 800cc under the bonnet. Enough to transport my sis, her band and all its paraphernalia to her various gigs. I’ll try to get photo links

Four People To Be Tagged

Ioannis V,
Cherryfairy,
Boudica and
Turboslut Dolphin in the blue.

I popped in ‘Heat’ last night ‘coz I was bored and “there’s nowt on telly anyway”. That’s how they used to make ‘em: Al de Niro and Robert Pacino, Val Kilmer, and that mexican-looking bloke, and that italian-looking bloke. A great bunch, blasting all 31 flavours of crap out of banks, armoured trucks, cops, and innocent bystanders. Reading Rachey’s blog, I had to agree. The precise reason I reached for Heat was that I wanted no moral dilemmas whatsoever. I seem to spend too much time nowadays philosophising about the rights and wrongs of some exceedingly impalusible and impossible movie situations. (I guess it’s just my sensitive and caring nature )
Having said that, Hollywood seems to be unable to resist that “confrontation scene”. Allow me to explain. Seeing as how the whole movie is about the cop and the baddie battling each other, they went to extraordinary lengths, stretching the credibility of the plot, in order to put Al and Rob face to face in a battle of words that showed how much they were real men, and grudgingly admired each others intelligence, but had to do what they do.
But that Ashley Judd, COR!!

“Naz gets a gold star in Media Studies. Come to the front of the class, dear boy”

If you’ve visited Ioannis’ blog, you’ll know of a nice Saturday I had. I’ll be taking a leaf out of Boudica darling’s blog, and regale you with accounts of my own mystery person, Ms. X. I’m hoping they’ll go someway to explaining why I’ve been so lax with my blogging duties, if you know what I mean! But only after I obtain permission. I see clearly now why Turboslut has gone private with a separate blog for friends only; though I must complain to her that I’m not going to register to comment, and therefore she must set it up in a way to allow me, a non-blogger to comment. (Actually, I just went over to see what she’s on about. HELLOOOO!!)

I know my birthday’s in Octomber (as a Greek friend of mine would pronounce it), but here’s a list of books from the biography section of Waterstone’s that I might like to own (the books, not the section). I was mooching about there looking for ways to burn the 2000 pence worth of book vouchers I have, but I have to make sure I make the most of the opportunity, and spend the minimum amount of real hard cash on top of the vouchers.
So here they are (so far; more additions are definitely planned)

I’m currently enjoying Sue Townsend’s ‘Adrian Mole and the weapons of mass destruction’. After having read ‘The secret diaries aged 13 3/4′. I’m also trying to keep in touch with my Russki by reading Dostoevsky’s ‘Notes from the underground’, but man!! can he drag on!! I mean, what’s his problem?? Thank heavens there are explanatory notes. 4 days, and I’m still on page 7! And I wanted to get ‘War and Peace’ done over this week!! Wake up, Sunshine.

This is one sentence

Скажите мне вот что: отчего так бывало, что, как нарочно, в те самые, да, в те же самые минуты, в которые я наиболее способен был сознавать все тонкости «всего прекрасного и высокого», как говорили у нас когда-то, мне случалось уже не сознавать, а делать такие неприглядные деянья, такие, которые…ну да, одним словом, которые хоть и все, пожалуй, делают, но которые, как нарочно, приходились у меня именно тогда, когда я наиболее сознавал, что их совсем бы не надо делать?

Twenty commas? I rest my case, Your Honour.

Oh, and my sister’s now on the website of her research guru. Checkitout. Click on current assistants. My sas is the one with an Msc in Applied Genetics (Number 9 for the lazy sods who can’t read).
Must say, I visited the home page of the professor, and he looks well dodgy.

I know I should be writing about the New Year, and how Happy it was, and the usual carp. But instead, I’ll pose you a question that kept me awake until I fell asleep. Do kids nowadays choose careers based on what they see on telly? I mean, have the role models for young kids changed? Do they still want to be pilots and firemen (or, as in my case, reliable IT technicians), or do they now want to be “I’m a celebrity, get me on a crap show” or “International Men of Mystery. Yeah baby, groovy”? I guess the only person qualified to answer would be a career advisor for schulers (do they have those in the UK?).

Which seamlessly links into the next topic in this sermon. Does anybody want to be a spy? And is there a market anymore for trench-coated, ninja-deadly intelligentsia in this post-Cold war era? I’ve borrowed a DVD of BBC telly series based on John le Carre’s novel of the same name (if you haven’t guessed the name yet, look at the title of this rant) and I was instantly back in those days in Moscow when I’d bend every now and then to “tie my shoelaces” or “gaze at the wares in the shop windows”. You may not have realised this, but this is Top-spy technique for finding out if anybody is following you. Of course those K.B.G folk wanted me for my inexhaustible knowledge of weapons systems and world-reknown ballistic expertise (I used to be a mean shot with a rubberband in school). The series lasts 315 minutes, and I couldn’t tear myself away from it, even when I thought I heard the soft tread of a rubber-soled shoe in my hallway at 4 a.m. (the hour of the assassin, in case you didn’t know. If you think you’re gonna get snuffed, you can sleep peacefully at any hour except 4 a.m. Course, it didn’t work for J.F.K), which would usually precipitate my springing into action with a stout staff in preparation for the operative from Mossad.

Talking of DVDs, I saw a film advertised on telly as being available on DVD and “MUD” or something. What!! Has the technological advance skipped by me again? Just when I had learned to stop toasting and buttering the DVDs as well!! (They’re not really indestructable. Trust me, I should know)

We’re going to get our marks at 3 p.m. Slightly elevated blood pressure, still breathing quite relaxed. I got Iron Maiden’s ‘Killers’ album out from the library, haven’t heard it in ages!!
(Later) Ok, we all passed.

Highlight of the weekend was, of course, the double victory: England beating Argentina in a most unbelievable cliff-hanger of a ride (Rooney scored, Owen twice, so why again do we have Crouch on the pitch??) as well as The Lions beating the Kiwis 38-12, which gives them a chance in the Tri-Nation finals.

Was listening to Jonathan Ross over the radio this weekend, he played a Benny Hill song which had a line that goes something like this
“You were whispering sweet nothings,
She was whispering nothing-doings”
which really cracked me up. I couldn’t find that song on t’Net, so I cannae guarantee the accuracy of the lyrics because it were right early int morning an’ all.

I watched T’ Last Samurai (again), and if you happened to peep into my bedroom late that night you would chance upon a nekkid Robinson Crusoe-esque character swirling and cavorting about with an Ikea cupboard rod in poses that would embarass the most stalwart of Japanese sword-instructors. Ah, but I do tend to get carried away with that film. And the beauty of Japan is breathtaking in that film, especially as one is constantly reminded of the ever-present duality of modernism and traditionalism in that country.

Also obtained a most delectable little book called ‘Driving over lemons: An optimist in Andalucia’ which is quite a pleasant, feel-good read.

Went down to Manchester’s famous Curry Mile yesterday to dine with Mom and Paul. Here’s an incident that will help you familiarise yourself with Mother Dear. The waiter brings her (second) pint of Kingfisher and absent-mindedly places it on the neighbouring table (his heart just wasn’t in the job that day. But then, it never has been so perhaps it’s foolish of me to expect anything otherwise). At which my mother almost leaps up and ‘says’ (shouts) “That’s mine, that’s MINE!”. Waiter Person, not really on the same frequency as his customers, nor indeed the rest of normally-functioning humanity, casually strolls by. Neighbouring-Table Person then hands me the pint which was in front of his companion, at which His Companion Person goes to Mom “You really wanted that, didn’t you? Imagine if I’d taken a sip!” Not much, you might say. But it’s one of those you-had-to-have-been-there kind of moments. The Embarassment.
Oh, and I put her up as my champion against anybody in the Let’s See How Many Foreign Places I Can Casually Mention I’ve Been To On Holiday To Impress Total Strangers During The Course Of A Meal tournament.

This site is changing with the times, nazmania.co.uk is up and partially running. I will soon be closing down this site, but don’t worry, I’ll keep everyone posted. I have become aware that my earlier presentation was making it difficult for people to read, and therefore admire, my elegant prose, so although I liked the colours, I might stick with the Crop Circles theme. Of course, it goes without saying that I sincerely hope this minor unsettlement in your otherwise dull, routine and monotonous lives will not cause you much discomfort.

Oh, and Dad woke me up with a phone call at ten a.m., yes, that’s TEN a.m., today and belaboured my partially-booted brain for half-an-hour with interest-rates, external-surveyors and the advantages of semi-detatched properties over flats while I hopped around in excrutiatingly embarassing poses trying to restrain my body from giving in to its first-thing-in-the-morning urges. I only hope the Neighbour Folk weren’t looking out their windows!

where I left off, I had this most wonderful night on Friday somewhere in town with these friends of mine. Someday a full review will follow, in the meantime you can read Jill’s version of that crezzy, crezzy night! Only must say, does anybody remember those weird high-kicking Kung-Fu characters in Copa Cabana, or was I hallucinating?
P.S And for those not ‘in the know’, Fatima Fong is apparently this Huge asian lady who works in the adult industry, and whose company my friends thought I would be most delighted with having. Not in flesh, of course. But in “life-like rubber”. And still with all her “three succulent holes” (I’m not making this up).

A quick fix of the Net from Ioannis’ before we head out for a night of debauchery. Last night listening to this great band ‘Crispy Duk’ in Bar …Sh in Cheadle with Tinks, Jessy and Ioannis. It was the greatest night I’ve had in a long time (and that’s saying something guys!!). I’ll fill you in with details tomorrow, if I wake up from tonight’s hopefully drug-induced stupor (a man must have his dreams).
As an aside, Ioannis goes to the top of blog ranks because of ‘services to mankind’. I being the representive of mankind that he serviced.

I have nothing to do with my time, so after a big (read: drunken) night out at Po Na Na with me mates, I wake up bright and early (well, 12 of the clock) so that I might have ample time in which to do the nothing which I must do. About Po Na Na, the few old school isomers that were there really showed the newbies, who scrapered off home at 11pm. And we had only begun shifting up through the gears.

I sauntered around town, looking to buy shoes and wearing my old scuffed Moshulus (you won’t find them in no Cosmopolitan, girl!) that made me look like I really needed them shoes, so I couldn’t get any bargains anywhere. My Moshulus, by the way, have superior ‘air waves’ technology for breathing feet caused by the incessant and persistent efforts of my big toes working for their freedom from ‘Sock Smell Central’.

Popped in to the central library, I got one book for myself (Arthur Clarke’s ‘Cradle’), another book for myself (Robert Rankin’s ‘the hollow chocolate bunnies of the apocalypse’) and one book to hold while about town, the cover of which is not prominently but cheekily displayed as I gaze thoughtfully into the distance ’cause the chicks dig an intellectual man (The Dalai Lama’s ‘Freedom in exile’ -spiritual as well, can’t go wrong there!). Also got Paganini’s 24 capricci, the best of the violin solos played like a crazed Yngwie Malmsteen. Nice lady at the desk gave moi a “Central Library”tm plastic bag worth 15p for free, maybe beacuse I had just shelled out £3.44 in fines (£3.44, where else but in a library, eh?)

I had a great Wetherspoons lunch with pasta Alfredo (I’ve made up my mind to meet this Alfredo one day and thank him, maybe slip him a few bob for his trouble) and Ali regaling me with hilarious stories of his flatmates.
A big thanks to Karen, who lurks on these pages but leaves no trace of her passing, for the congrats.

Also thanks to Ioannie, Jessy, B of S, Rachey, Rayk and tinks for cheering my Not-so-magnum Opus. Thanks to my director, for believing in me when even the soaps thought I was washed up. Okay, I did a few lines, I was crazy, success got to my head. But now I’ve cleaned up man! And this award proves it. I’m here, and I’m here to stay.

Oh, and by the way, for those who were concerned and flooded these pages with their wishes: The Chinese guys made it up safe, and they’re now looking down upon us as we speak. So I guess that tape of “Launch disasters: The greatest out-takes all in one chair-busting bonanza”, in Chinese of course, but I don’t know how to say ‘bonanza’ in Chinese. Nor the rest of it, for that matter (Ah, the old ones are the best ones!) is going back on the shelf awaiting another auspicious moment.

A new phrase has entered the collective ISOM conscience thanks to master wordsmith and tennis ace Tinks. “Doing a Frodo” means breaking up the fellowship. Its usage may be thus demonstrated “Bloody Ioannis did a Frodo on us”, or “Thanks Ioannis, for doing a Frodo on us”, or “Trust Ioannis do go and do a stinking Frodo on our fellowship”. This implies letting down his friends and being a gay boy to boot. For a thrilling account of this, go to Gandalf’s page

My pet tiger Hobbes. He is sarcastic, and always hungry. And he’s not potty trained. But if you stroke him he closes his eyes in appreciation. (I’ll have you know this is not my idea, but I’m playing along in a post-modern ironic way) Ohhh, isn’t he just the cutey-wuteiest ever!!

Oh, by the way, take your raincoats to Munich, the weather’s cloudy and windy over there. Almost like a home away from home then.

There used to be a time when I had friends all around, laughing and whatnot. Then they found out I had a deadly disease called “Disso”. I guess it’s true what them song says, ain’t nobody knows you when you’re down and out. (SIGH!!) I’m gonna have to deal with it myself now. The lord god he knows I could’ve done with a helping hand. But it’s my bed and it’s what as I’m gonna lie in. Truth be told, I never trusted them fair feathered fair weather folk anyhow.

Jessy, Simon, Tinks, Wanjia and I all went to the 20:40 show at the Cornerhouse yesterday. Great colours and wonderful scenery, it was an interesting film to watch, if only it wasn’t so long. “Calcifer! Calcifer!” (an inside joke) Then we went to Kro2 to sink a pint each. It was nice fun sitting with good friends. I went off with Simon and Tinks for drinks and to watch ‘Dodgeball’, which I found highly unamusing, seeing as how it was full of predicatable gags and unbelievable plots. Managed to sleep at half-four in the morning after partially watching ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ that I borrowed from Tinks.

Okay, I’m just here for a random outburst of verbal haemorrhage! First of all, United lost to Blackburn, shame. Owen’s doing well for himself as I always knew he would.

We went to Tai Wu on Thursday, were seated in the buffet hall underground along one side of the hall. There were a lot of people. We managed to talk to some of the newbies, I forgot to mention Ina’s charitable act of donation. We discussed the issue of passing on the isom weblog to the new generation, but PK wasn’t there to offer to pay for it. Also we needed IT Support as well to thrash out the details, and how much we were going to relinquish control of what essentially is our online home. We went out after that for a couple of amphoras of nectar with some of the newbies, CCRM did the same so we hooked up in town. Then details start to get a bit hazy….

We’re going to see Howl’s Moving Castle at the Cornerhouse now, must be v.good.

Deutsche Boy has sent an email, here are some snippets.

Your personal driver will pick you up there in order to take you safely and entertained by good music to Bavaria-capital Munich.

I suggest hiking as we give Tinks the opportunity to balance the calories which she’s going to consume here. (We cannot let her get fatter anymore, can we?).

We could stay there overnight at a Hütte/hut, to enjoy the nature and quietness with chilled beer and proper Bavarian food. (overnight costs around 15 Euro – estimated).

O.k. any questions? Yes, what to bring: sleeping bags, good shoes for hiking, mini-skirt, warm clothes (if we stay overnight in the alpes).

Tinks and mua went to see ‘Red eye’ yesterday thanks to free fresher’s tickets at AMC. All I can say is that we had red eyes by the time the movie finished. First half- boring, second half- comic! Wes Craven’s directed a materpiece of crap! I also saw ’10 good ways to lose a guy’ with Matthew McConnaught or something, and ‘Ladykillers’ with Tom Hanks. I liked Tom Hanks, he does a beautiful impression of a professor; I just love the words he chooses! And the woman who owns the house is a stereotypical, god-fearing gospel-abiding woman. Went to bed at around 5-ish, hence the real red eyes today. Meeting my ubervisor at 2 pm., with a thoughtfully-created framework I just knocked up on the old PC.
On another note, regulars here might have noticed that Naz’s Weblog Inc. has linked up with Flickr to bring you, our dear customers, some great photos. I noticed that one particular picture I took required very precise settings to get the effect I wanted, namely:

Camera: Kodak C340 Zoom
Exposure: 0.011 sec (11930465/1073741824)
Aperture: f/3.5999999046326
Focal Length: 10.8 mm
ISO Speed: 80
Exposure Bias: 0 EV
Flash: Flash fired, auto mode

I wasn’t sure whether I should’ve maybe gone for a f/3.5999999046411, but I’ll let you be the judge. Perfection does come at a price

Then it must be OKTOBERFEST!!! Just got off the blower with my ATM, sorry, dad, so glad to talk to him and find out how he is, etc. (money money). Apparently many moons ago he went to beer land as well, and when I delicately broached the subject of sponsorship, he said eats and drinks are all free at the festival. Like I mentioned; MANY, MANY moons ago. Having gently been reminded of the fact that this happens to be 2005, he parted with some funds. Yippee. Munich is ON, I repeat ON. The eagle has taken off!!! The dolphin is swimming!!! The pied wagtail is wagging its tail!!! Houston, we are ok, I repeat, OK to go!

Ioannis the giant spider, sitting at the middle of his IT web, intimately connected and in tune with every twitching that signals a juicy fly has been snared.
This morning, I was watching ‘Survival’ on ITV2. Apparently, there’s a rare Congo Peacock that was last observed 13 years ago. And the Giant otter shrew is aptly named giant, because it’s about 100 times larger than a common jungle shrew.

My friends will testify to the fact that I really hate to blow my own trumpet (I tried once, but I couldn’t reach it ) but I had a couple of good ones in this conversation with cherryfairy today

Away with the fairies says:
I have but I’m putting it off. Sound familiar?

Cogito, ergo dumb (new mob no.079200xxxxx) http://naz.isom.org.uk/ says:
I’d love to procrastinate, but I guess I’ll have to do it tomorrow

Cogito, ergo dumb (new mob no.079200xxxxx) http://naz.isom.org.uk/ says:
Actually, that’s my new line now

Away with the fairies says:
Slick.

I’d love to procrastinate, but I guess I’ll have to do it tomorrow http://naz.isom.org.uk/ says:
slicker than an Exxon-Valdez beach party

“Where people are free there is music” – a line from the film ‘The Second Heimat’. Just thought it was nice. By the way, we (Helgi, Jana, Rayk & I) went to the Cornerhouse to watch the film ‘Last Days’. It’s the third of the trilogy by director Gus Van Sant. Loosely based upon Kurt Cobain of Nirvana fame. And we can say this to all, don’t go. Bloody boring, but we managed to get a few laughs out of it. Like how atleast this movie, being the third and final part, had an end to it. But the sufferers who sat through the first and second parts were denied even that pleasure. And you’d expect some decent music in the soundtrtack, wouldn’t you?? No, for some reason GVS thinks operatic music would give a ‘feel’ to his still camera shots. The only ‘feel’ I got was a pain in the old backside from sitting through that interminable film.

I found this gem in Rayk’s dissertation, and felt it had to be shared with the general public. I know this has appeared earlier in a comment I made on Jessy’s weblog, but given the miniscule amount of people that read that blog, I thought I had to put it here so that it could reach a much wider audience.

The focus thereby is on understanding, learning and finding new ways of doing things in order to innovate around these elements and leverage their strategic value contribution. As such, it challenges the status quo and fosters learning for competitive differentiation under strategic aspects.
(Grabosch, 2005)

I was forced today to reciprocate the kindness of our isom ladies by providing dinner for them. I rose to the occasion! Managed to get Ali to drive me to ASDA, where I spent a long time considering my options. Jessy had made it clear that I could cook anything as long as it was chicken. So I got some prime cuts of beef…Nah, jus’ kiddin’. I got some pieces of chicken breast, a sachet of Chargrilled Chicken and one of Bombay Potatoes. Bought some ASDA ‘stimulating drink’ to wash it down with. So the dishes of the day were Pasta Conchiglie con Chargrilled Chicky, i Patata a la Bombay. Yummax! Managed to cook it in record time as well, especially considering how hungover I was in t’morning. (Neat link into a description of last night’s shenanigans) Rayk & I went to the Cornerhouse for a movie reckoned to be one of the “great mind-fuck movies”. With accolades like that, it was irresistable. We managed to smuggle in a 4 pack of Grolsch (although it’s not exactly Fort Knox in there) and proceded to merry the time away. The movie, ‘Primer’ was absolutley amazing, have to see it atleast twice. I have to take back all my snide comments about American cinema now. We then decided to sink a few sweet ones in the Grand Central. After another couple, Rayk was ready for home, but he hadn’t counted on my persuasive charm. Revolution it was then, and when Ali joined us to head for Ponana, Rayk hardly put up any resistance at all. All in all, we were on to getting well blathered! Um.. then we caught a cab, no no, there was this cow, no, it was a kebab,… Anyway, lights out.

Ah, let me kiss this sweet Mancunian earth. As I was waiting for my luggage, I commented on how I’d never experienced any of the hilarious incidents of missing luggage, stolen stuff etc. on all my travels. Lo! I find my rucksack split open, and phone missing As well as my headphones. So I’m temporarily out of contact with all the hordes who wish to welcome me back home.
(Later on in Naz’s day)
I bought some top qwality headphones, £3.99 for both ears. I finished reading Harry Potter’s (yes, I know he didn’t write it, he’s only a kid) Order of Phoenix this morn, apparently it’s either him or Lord Volvofort that has to be killed. Surprised me, I’ll say! Also, all the teachers know that some kids are bad ‘uns, so why keep teaching them Dark Arts? So they’ll grow up and the good ‘uns will have somebody to fight? Why not screen the students? As for the magic fights, if I was a wizard confronted by a snotty-nosed, self-centred brat like Potter n Co, I’d jinx him good and proper! Cruciatus Maximus Screamus! Rowling seems to confuse magic with Star Wars sometimes, what with all the dodging of red light and green light going on.

Ok, Amsterdam was getting a tad tiresome, so we upped sticks and offed to The Hague. Saw the International Justice building, where a lone guy was standing outside protesting for the release of some guy called Gun Falan or something. I remember reading about him, but I really can’t be bothered bringing up google now to find out the whole story just so I can put it here and seem knowledgable. Saw the prison where Nobel Peace Prize candidate Mr Milosovic was holed up. Also hit the North Sea, great beaches (maybe you’ll see the pics someday) with topless sunbathers all candidates for Miss Blackpool atleast. Back in the Dam managed to fit in some canal trips before settling down at a posh Italian place where I wasn’t supposed to put my elbows on the table, and you get huge plates with no food. But I did love the Ravioli ricotta i spinaci. With butter and sage sauce. Yummax!
(addendum)
it’s Falun Gong, a religious movement in PRC that’s being persecuted by the govt. Surprise me!

There’s only one Rijk’s Museum, and it was host to me! A warm sunny day ’twas today, so I slapped a ton of sunblock on my visage and headed off to spend the day indoors amongst crowds of strangers and smelling of Nivea 45 xg or summat. Unlike yesterday when I was lain on the roof of the NEMO building until cooked to a Naz Thermidor. Saw Rembrandt, Vermeer, Witte, amongst others. They said hi Delft plates and plaques, magnificant doll houses etc. A great big model of a Dutch galleon ( Oh, and they battered the British at sea, apparently) Busy day for Mr. Kodak Easy Share C340. I believe a new talent is going to burst onto the Manchester scene soon, with techniques honed in Amsterdam by studying the Dutch Masters. I’ve heard of United’s thrashing of Newcastle, and England’s humiliation of Ponting’s tourists.

I’ve been hearing reports over here about the severe threats posed by Asian birds. Apparently Asian Birds flew. So what, weren’t they flying before?
-Confused

Ioannis sent me G ‘n’ R’s (so many apostophes!) November Rain. Hadn’t heard it in a while. Still a great guitar song! Molto grazie.

Yes, swimming alright! It’s pouring down in Manchester, so I guess we’ll all just get in our shorts and suits and stand outside! Also muscle ache is catching up with some of my WEAKER, WIMPIER comrades! I rushed home yesterday in order to fix myself a meal before settling down to watch Liverpool play CSKA Sofia. The scousers had a 3-1 lead from the first leg in Bulgaria, so they didn’t have to play much. And you bet they didn’t play much! BOOOORIIING! Long balls everywhere, strikers absolutley useless (Commentator goes “Morientes looks like he’s going to explode some time” – To which I say “Yes, but not in this life mate”) Riise looked sharp as usual, but he always has. Garcia on in half-time made a difference, but the fact remains that without Gerrard Liverpool is hopeless. Then I watched a cracker of a film. Described as a horror comedy, ‘Lake Placid’ was neither. A 30+ foot crocodile, 150 years old, living in a lake in Maine. How does it get there, an observant reader might ask. It swam the sea from “another continent”! Now the only salt-water croc I know of is the Australian mugger. So I think it must’ve flown Qantas. Oh, and the lakes in Maine do FREEZE in winter! Here’s a bunch of ‘facts’ I learnt about crocs from this informative movie.

‘Fact 1′ – Crocodiles can’t see very well underwater. ‘Scientific explanation’ of ‘fact’ – They have a nictating membrane that covers the eye. I says – So all those hours watching Discovery where crocs are gobbling up fish willy-nilly underwater were staged? Attenborough’s nasty secret?

‘Fact 2′ – If a croc’s coming at you, dive underwater. ‘Scientific explanation’ of ‘fact’ – Look at ‘Fact 1′. I says – That might be the last thing you’ll ever do then, my friend.

What crap acting as well! Jeeeez! The ingredients used were standard fare.
Actor 1 – Pretty blonde, clever, not afraid of trying although she’s a girl
Actor 2 – Outdoor, woodsy man, “Oh what the heck, let’s DO it!”
Actor 3 – Eccentric rich ‘specialist’ scientist who explains things (like croc behaviour) to everyone (and to us stupid audience)
Actor 4 – Fat sheriff (always value for money)
Actor 5, 6, 7 – To get eaten

As for the plot. Opening scene, people out unaware, sudden tragedy, clue = lots of thrashing in the water. Then progressively we see more and more of the croc monster, (presumably the Special Effects people are getting steadily better) until a final showdown. Interspersed with a few private moments between all the ‘action’ so we can get to know the ‘characters’ better.

Today was the first day in a loooong string of days that I woke up to with a jump. That was because we (John, Rayk, Tracy und I) were playing squash at 11. Great way to start the day. I sincerely believe that this has given me a comparably superior attitude towards problem solving and dissertation writing. Swimming tomorrow!!!!